NILWY - There is this "chemistry" b/w us

[Kim65]

H and I had a nasty argument last night!!... Both said things that we shouldn't of.

Yesterday he went down to Melbourne to speak to his father and his older sister and tell them about the OW. I spoke to his sister after he had left and she had told him exactly what he had told me. That It's nothing that I had done and that he loves the OW...

She said I need to move on and forget about him as he is done with our R. H's older brother rang me as well and told me that H apparently is planning to bring OW down the following week end to meet this family!... They are all very shocked, his father is disappointed and disgusted. Does H and OW think that they will welcome her with open arms??... I already know that this is not the case. They're not interested and are quite taken back that H and OW would even be doing that!!

Finding this out had made me angry, so when he finally got home I verbally had somethings to say, so did he... I went over some old demons. I abused him, cried, It wasn't pretty.

He said that he doesn't care if his family don't accept OW. They have their life, he has his.

In the end he stormed off to bed, a few minutes later H came out and said " For what it's worth, over the last three months there have been times that I wish I could have turned back the clock but I can't, I'm in to deep,I've made a commitment to her".

I stupidly said it's still not to late, why can't we give it a try??? H just said I can't....

It's now 9.30 in the am, H got up to go to the toilet and asked how I was as he walked by, I said ok.. he then went back to bed.

I truly feel numb, reality is starting to take it's hold because this is real. I don't know how to feel anymore..... the hope I have is only hanging in there by a thread, and even then that thread is frayed..

I have been pretty calm over the last 3 mths. The last real blow up that I had was when h told me about the A. I suppose this had been brewing for a while..

I feel crappy this morning about last night and I know H will too, we have never spoken to each other like that before...