Its remarkable how you continue to persevere month after month after month..There's gotta be some kind of medal you could be awarded..because you sure deserve it..
Quote: I pretty much told him about how I'm feeling isolated in our situation. He thought I should talk to my parents. I tried, rather ineffectively, to explain that they just wouldn't understand. He did seem to understand that he was the only one who could really get it. I'd love it if he wanted to see us as a team.
Think for a minute at that quote Z. You want to be a TEAM. Well, a teammate would probably AGREE with her H and simply say.."You know H, maybe you're right, maybe I should talk with my parents about my feeling isolated in our situation, thanks for bringing that up." Thats being a teammate,thats being on the SAME PAGE as he is. Trying to convince him that HIS ADVICE wouldn't work, isn't being a TEAMMATE, it just reinforces in his mind, YET AGAIN, why he's not willing to give more than he has the last umpteen months. Whether you think talking to your parents wouldn't do any good is meaningless. Following HIS SUGGESTION is what HE WANTS TO HEAR. And you wonder why he gets in defense mode during MC..
Quote: I think she is doing a good job at helping us work tough conversations, but I'm not too certain she will be the one to see us through.
Of course she won't be, only your H will. The MC can only help bring you closer together and help see the benefits of staying Md and having a loving R. Your H will be the one to see you through, WHEN HE FEELS THE SAME WAY ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU AS YOU DO. He doesn't and thats why things have not really changed for you. He's perfectly content with just the way things are and why shouldn't he, he gets all the benefits of Zero, without really having to COMMIT to Zero the way you would expect your H to. Allthough I don't think thats right, I have to give the guy credit for being able to pull this off for as long as he has, he's getting the best of both worlds, just settling on the way things are. There is no incentive for him to take the extra step, UNTIL something makes him FEEL that he had better, if he doesn't want to lose you. That possibility of losing you is not there, so he can continue on as he has..because the two of you "have an understanding" and that understanding seems to suit him just fine.
