first time & need help still

[albamarie]

''and very nicely say "just stay there and don't come here on wednesday and quit screwing with my life".''

Ask him point blank, why do you come up here to NJ, why? If he says it's for you, say WHY? I would make him (after all this time) admit to something, make him say what he want's from you!

I would push him, but that's me, because I would not keep letting him skate by, but that's me. it's time to put some stuff on the table. I'm in a real "finale" mood! Why can't we make a wave sometimes, they will just keep living as is if they think we're so agreeable.

I do go along with it, but inside when he speaks to me I am screaming, GET THE F**** OUT OF MY LIFE YOU F*** CRAZY MAN, I'M SO SICK OF YOUR FACE! That is for NOT-H! If my H is somewhere in there still hoping I will L him or keep up the good fight, then so be it!

I know for a fact my H is not having a wonderful time. He is living in such regret for the choices he didn't make regarding work that it is eating him alive. IT's a domino effect, had he made these choice w/work and school, he would have provided for us better, therefore not be a 53yr old looser (to himself). SO it's easier to say "Im sick of being stuck w/this family" because we remind him of his failures, rather than face life and move forward (weak a$$ SOB can't do that).

Weak men don't take control and grow up, they succumb to the looser they think they are. The key would be to stop seeing one's self as a looser and be thankful for the life they have, and understand there is no point in living in regret. But, if he could do that he wouldn't be in MLC.

Your guy having had a side-kick all this time, well, I think it suxs and it shows he needed a parachute throughout your R, why? Why did he not commit to you, maybe it was mutual, or did you go with his flow, did you ask to M, these are things for you to think about.

My H would say that an ea/ow was someone to talk to about the crazy stuff in his head he didn't want brought into our home. I don't know I have read women here say ea/ow can have that crazy part of H right now, I wouldn't want it. But, Nero is there a future w/your h knowing that he has always needed that.

It's like he's flipped the switch and now your the one he keeps on hold, and has a R with ow, but he is not committed, living w/her, joint ownership, nothing tangible in real life like he did/does with you. Is he testing the water on the other side of the shore? ow held on all these yrs, maybe he thinks you will. But, you had/have more invested, like your life, she obviously has a separate life from your h that kept her satisfied with a part time R.

Are you share girl? Are you wait around for H to decide your life girl? Come on Nero?

If your anything like me your missing the R, L and touch, attention, and all that is not H exclusive! HE's just all we've known for a long time.

Don't you regret asking my opinion now, lol? Can you talk to him like a friend on the couch one on one, no anger, just showing him your strength and intelligence? They like that these backward MLCers!

DO what you deserve and makes you feel right!

<3 dm