One thing to understand about any EA/PA is they are really a symptom of an underlying problem. Yes, they are painful for the LBS and it is the LBS who needs to decide whether that is a deal breaker or if it is forgiveable. Some LBS initially believe it is a deal breaker, only to realize they could forgive an A.
That said, as it is truly a symptom, it is important for you to consider if you were not meeting her needs prior to the A. As you indicated earlier, you were beginning to "come home angry". Why was that?
Understand that we promote "keeping the road home paved and smooth". It is good to let go of the negative emotions through talking to counsellors or other, similar professionals such as your priest. Other people will form their own opinions and speaking with them could potentially cause friction between you and your W by way of second hand information. Also, speaking with friends who may have a negative opinion about your W could also influence your attitude as they may say things to upset you and be angry with your W and that may reflect in your interactions with her.
Just be wary to keep your emotions in check (detaching) and start focusing on yourself by working on things you feel could be better within you and become an even better man, father, and potentially H that only a fool would leave, and it COULD help save the M. And if it does not, at least you will have grown to help ensure any future relationship, with anyone, will be that much better.
