Some counselors are good, but they do not know the law when it comes to divorce and leaving the home. I would adhere to what your lawyer has told you, i.e., stay put. If your h wants out, he can pack his stuff up and move out.
All he's thinking about his himself and the fun and lack of responsibilities he will have once you and the marriage are gone. He's going to be very surprised when reality hits him if he should follow through w/a divorce. He's not going to be able to play in the sandbox forever and reality, or should I say, the normal day-to-day routine will resurface. As for the ow, she's nothing but a band aid for his wound. Let her have him for a while and listen to his moaning and groaning about having to support you and your children. A house built on sand will not last very long.
Keep the focus on you and what you need to survive.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
