I've had some troubling thoughts the last two nights. Thoughts that if my wife did want to work on our M that I'm not 100% sure that I would. I've been thinking about all the things that our M was missing and the negatives that I see her. How my trust in her went from 100% to less than 10% now. I don't know if I'm subconsciously trying to protect myself for the worst case or if these are true feelings. Is this normal?

I also wonder if all my sad feelings from our separation is the result of the loss of my W in particular or the loss of our M and life together.

Me:38, Wife:36
M:8
T:13
No kids
Bomb:3/10/13
W moved out:3/30/13
Started D paperwork: 10/14/13
D final: 12/30/13
To a future of love and happiness...