Great news Crimson. You seem calm and collected and I am very happy to read your news. :-)
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Just wondering if you are keeping up the "new" things you started post bomb, and if your "changes" have fallen back any to pre-bomb form ???
Are you letting her find her way through the house ???
Giving her plenty of time to adapt ?
Asking her to join your "new" GAL things ?
Letting her include you on her GAL ?
Doing other GAL for yourself ???
When this gets you down, remember that this is what you fought for.
And I know that you are aware of that, however, it is SO easy to forget...
Stay on your course buddy....
Originally Posted By: Crimson
my stance has been that no one was hurt more through all of this that me and XW...no one. And if we can see the good in being together and learn to forgive and understand she should be able to as well.
Always a pleasure to read your updates - your strength and determination are truly a source of inspiration for me.
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Hi Crimson, Great to hear! I admire your patience and consistency. Can I ask you to document what helps you make progress in this next stage? It seems to me that you are moving past where DB techniques are obviously applicable. I am curious what works as you attempt to forge a new R that has such a history. I realize this is a selfish request. Maybe it will help you too?
I'll try to offer one bit of advice, but you know I am well behind you, so take it with a grain of salt. You mention working on controlling negative aspects of your past R in your previous post (anger, etc. ). Are you looking for ways you can inject new positive experiences into your interaction? One blog I like to read (Marry, Divorce, Reconcile) is notable in the returning spouse talking about how brave the LBS spouse is to allow her back in. Your roles are reversed, but if you are enjoying things she is doing now she didn't do earlier, are you making sure to celebrate them and really enjoy them?
Good luck! I enjoy seeing your progress!
H: 38 xW: 38 M: 16 T: 18 S: 9 BD: 2/2012 W moved out 4/2012 D: 11/2012
