Wife is having an emotional affair

[Alan A.]

Now, she's already in a PA. You caught this one by accident. You don't know how many EA's (or even PA's) she may have had. My first thoughts are of her being a serial cheater.

I'm pretty sure this is the first A when she has been with me. I know she has cheated in some of her past relationships. I'm not sure why I though it would be different with me but I did.

But, do stay away from her. The sooner you disappear from her life, the sooner she will come looking for you. If you can stay anywhere else, don't continue under the same roof while she's having this A.

I will be looking for a new place when the semester is over (the first week of May). I would look sooner but I just don't have the time to pack/move while the semester is ending and I'm preparing for final exams.

Unless someone is a serial cheater, there is a reason they have an affair, something that is missing in the R. I am not sure why Sandi suspects your wife is a SC (something she sees from experience that I can't see yet)but if she is, it very well could be true that you didn't do anything. However, if she isn't a SC, there were things you needed to do that you didn't, or did that you shouldn't be doing that make her feel the marriage won't work.

I thought so too and I even told her that there had to be something that I did/din't do, but I've been reflecting on my life a lot recently and I have always been good to her. We have had arguments in the past but nothing we couldn't figure out. I read the LL book, I'm not certain what her LL is but I know that I regularly have done things from all 5 languages. I have always done my best every day to be the best person I can be. I don't have any destructive habits as far as I can tell. I honestly feel like I am a good person and that I have been a good H. I can't think of anything on my end that would have caused this. When we talked in the past and she tried to give me a reason as to this happening the it always been one of the following "I don't know", "it's not you it's me", "I wasn't ready for marriage/I was too young" or some other excuse that didn't feel like a real it was real.