Weird scenario

[Jeack]

So I've finally come to the conclusion that me and my W are not gonna work. She already has OM has stood firm she wants a D and not looking back. I've also realized that she's not only left me 3 xs but has left my children 3 xs and I don't need for me or my children to be be in this type of toxic M.

Here's my weird scenario and how to handle it. Since she's left in January we haven't even gone a week without some type of communication. And I'm trying to detach but not be ignorant at the same time. How do I tell her to stop calling or do I just totally ignore her. She was calling and texting last night while I was at the gym. So then I texted this morning, what did she need. Her response was to see what she had left in the house. She could of just texted me that???

[Jeack]

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[AnotherStander]

How do I tell her to stop calling or do I just totally ignore her.

You mentioned children, but you weren't clear on if they're your W's or yours from a previous R. If your W is the mom then you really shouldn't just cut her off or ignore her, but you could ask her to keep contact limited to the kids if that's what you want.

It sounds like you're saying you're done with her because she's left 3 times, how long have you been done? If less than a couple of months, give yourself time to make sure that's really what you want. I thought I was done at one point, but after about a month I decided I wasn't done after all.

[sandi2]

Welcome Jeack. A bit more information would be helpful. Did she leave b/c of OM? Did she have an OM in the other times she left? What were her complaints in the MR?

Hope you will post often. That's key for more responses.

[Jeack]

Here's my original post
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...575#Post2324575

AnotherStander,
Yes, that is the main reason why i'm done because of the kids and what she's done to me aswell. The kids are from a previous marriage of mine. She was extremely close with them before our first breakup prior to our M, But after that was never really the same. I've only came to this conclusion this week. She's been steadfast about the divorce and in PA there's only a 90 day cool off period, so everything could be final by June/July.

Sandi2
I do not know if she left for OM, It was her friends with benefit guy that she was with before we meet. After our first breakup. I snooped and found that she had been talking to him for about a month prior. The second time 6 months after we were married to my knowledge there was no other man. This time she hasn't looked back still denies theres someone else. Just says i don't know what I'm talking about.

I do love my wife. But after multiple therapist and doctors have told me she has issues that she needs to work on or she will continue to run. I find myself constantly worrying about her and I feel I shouldn't be. This is her choice not mine.

I also don't think that reality has set in for her because she still wants to be friends, ive given here money when she needs it. And she's in lala land about how things will be after the D is final.

The OM has just as much debt apparently as her from school loans, Has no good paying job and I think still lives with his parents. And she's giving up a loving husband, house, financial stability for what?

[Jeack]

What were her complaints in the MR?

She said I was emotionally abusive.

[sandi2]

She said I was emotionally abusive.

Were you?

[Jeack]

Yes, I was. Weboth were to each other.

[Jeack]

She has even told me to go out and find a girlfriend.

[Jeack]

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