n related news, my mom appears to be rather upset that I am walking down this path as she is convinced that "she is not the right person for you!!". Additionally, it is very clear that my mother remains angry that she hurt me to the extent that she did. Not much I can do about it - she communicates with me less for sure. In a nutshell, my stance has been that no one was hurt more through all of this that me and XW...no one. And if we can see the good in being together and learn to forgive and understand she should be able to as well. In the meantime, my XW and son remain a priority.
Speaking as a mom of grown children that suffered D, it is natural for her to feel like she does. But it may be harder for her to forgive your XW than it was for you.....b/c your mother is not in love with her. When one is in love, it sure makes the forgiving easier.
I'm still pulling for you Crimson. Hope things work well for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
When one is in love, it sure makes the forgiving easier. 
