Confused ...

[Grateful]

The couple of weeks have been interesting. First, I ate dinner with XW and my two D's last Monday (8th). IT was great. Afterwards, XW and I went for a walk together. We talked, hugged, etc. The next day, XW and I spent the majority of the day together, as we were both off of work. It was nice (for awhile). Again, we talked, hugged, laughed, etc. Throughout the time, we talked about how we missed spending time together. One negative thing that was discussed was how she did not miss ML with me at all. She doesn't even think about it. That did hurt a little, but I needed to hear it. We have even kissed each other on cheeck. Then, I made the mistake of kissing her on the lips. She freaked and asked me to leave. She was not rude or anything like that. She was just not happy with it at all.

Later that night, we talked. She said that she just wasn't read for that, and she freaked out. She asked me to be patient with her. I agreed. Since then, things have slowly returned to how they were when we were going through the D. She has initiated contacted once since the "kiss" and now takes hours to reply to texts if she does at all.

I guess I am at a point where I probably need 2 x 4's. Here is how I see it: she is not physically attracted to me (not missing ML, kiss, etc). She enjoys the company (she hates to be alone), as the only time she wants me over is when she has no plans and/or it is her time with kids. I understand that one though, as she does have the kids on her own around 20 days/month. Has to be exhausting.

I really just don't know if I even want the relationship to work out. I honestly wonder to myself if I am just selfish since it isn't going as quickly as I had wanted before. I truly am just confused right now.