I'm trying real hard to be the Shepard.

[reachingHigher]

Mtnman,

I've never given advice before about responding, but your sitch reminds me SO much of mine.

I would respond. It sounds like she wanted to open it up with you but doesn't REALLY want to discuss it. That's my take on it. She wants you to be okay with what she is doing right now, how she feels right now.

I would give validation to what she said. Tell her you're not worried about the $. (if that is true). Tell her you and the boys enjoy your time with her too and you are glad she is having some time and space to herself. (maybe you could tie this in with a previous convo you may have had with her about how she wanted that).

You could finish by saying you're looking forward to your next time together (this weekend or whatever). All must be done in a nonjudgmental tone and friendliness not loving if you know what I mean.

Everything must be said in a way where she doesn't feel you are at home pining for her. And respond in kind how she communicated with you -- by email.

It may not be the right solution for you, but it is what comes to mind if it is any help at all.

Mtnman, you're in a really tough spot. Keep going day by day. Keep focusing on you and your boys. You are doing really well in the midst of a lot of pain that is not your fault. W has a real treasure in you. Hopefully one day she will see that.
rH