Kittie, I have always considered learning patience to be God's personal self-improvement project for me. What I lack in patience I have made up for in determination. Head down, one foot in front of the other. I try not to pay attention to how far I've gotten or how far I have to go.
MAL, No one keeps JS in line. He just humors us as he ignores everything sensible we have to say. Now we'll see if he even reads my thread. ;
KAW, The garbage includes misconceptions and assumptions that are hard to put aside. Then there's old wounds that just aren't healed yet. Letting go of the garbage is one of those head down, feet forward kind of things. I just have to stop myself sometimes and do a reality check. Ever Vigilant!
On the matter of independence. My H and I both have a tendency to put other things ahead of the R and never really developed what I call "couple think." Then there's the whole issue of control and criticism. I think he's controlling and critical. He thinks I'm controlling and hypersensitive. Despite our impasse on this subject, I think we're both handling these issues incrementally better lately. Occassionally he suggests that I do something instead of insisting he do it himself. Occassionally I let him do things for me. Occasssionally he drops the subject midway through a criticque. Occassionally, I give him the benefit of the doubt that he's not really meaning what he says in a nasty way. Sporadic baby steps.
As for sex, yes, occassionally we have sex, but it's pretty miserable for both of us. I don't have orgasms during sex anymore, which really bugs my H. Partly this is related to a health problem that causes vaginal dryness. I'm still exploring whether or not there is a psych problem associated too. Partly it is related to the fact that H has given up on foreplay along with any other form of affection and he looks extremely bored and disappointed the whole time. I have no idea about his health or his state of mind; and he does not want to discuss this issue outside of what pertains to my health. I'm going to C and to the doctor about my problems. Maybe one day we'll be able to talk about it.
Hope that clarifies a little more what's going on.
Jackie, Thanks for the welcome. I'll try to get around and read some threads soon.
