W has a definite panic about time left on this planet. This has been created by peers and her parent passing away from terminal illnesses. She keeps saying, she needs to get on with life, its too short, she can't stay miserable for the time she has left, that she may only have 5 - 10 years left. I know i can not reason with this, as she believes this for now, so i just nod and support. Its frustrating as this is why she is giving up on our M now, because she feels times is too precious to hang around. I know there is nothing like being on a parents death bed to suddenly start questioning your life and push you into MLC. She has now admitted that this has changed her as a person.
However, another thing that I think has not helped is that her father has been in a bad way since her mother died. This has not given her time to grieve, not one moment, because he has been like a child, needy, and emotionally draining. She has had to prop him up and see him through the past few years. Its been constant, every single day.
It just so also happens its these last few years W claims she has started to question her love for me and our M.
W is also unhappy in her job. This is a big issue and she is desperate for something new. Again, this is getting her down.
Any thoughts / input from any body here about how these things can effect a person and how they can work through MLC if they are still apparent in that persons life?
How do I handle her discussions about being M'd to me making her miserable - she tells me as if she is telling a friend. I think I am detached enough not to let it bother me now as it does not hurt anymore. But I find it odd that she is comfortable saying this so bluntly to my face.
And how do I validate her thoughts on life being short. Should I just say ' well i can see why you might feel that way?' or is that confirming that she may be right.
Looking forward to you replies!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
