Letting Go & Moving Forward

[littleGTO]

Have two appointments set up next week for talk to L's. Just free initial consultations to find out what my rights are and to get some questions answered. Do any of you have suggestions of things I should cover?

This is going to be hard to do but I feel it's time. Just for information. To protect me & my boys if this ultimately does end in D.

Journaling-
Went for a long bike ride on my new bike--felt reeeeeallly good. At the end of my ride I did a loop around my neighborhood & ran into an old, very good friend I have lost touch with (hard to believe I lost touch w her as she literally lives a stone's throw away, but our lives deviated in different directions).

Anyway, she one of those people that I can pick up where I left off many years ago. So, I ended up telling her about my separation (probably not a shocker as she drives by my house every day and sees my H's truck not there).

I even included some details (about OW) that I hadn't intended on telling just anyone. But I do trust her not to tell others (she has always be very trustworthy in the past & has divulged skeletons in her closet to me as well).

It felt good to talk to her and now I feel I have one more friend that I can turn to or go out with and don't have to worry about what I'm not saying (as in withholding info about our separation).

Had little contact w H this week and I have been doing okay. Not great, but okay. It's a start. Of course when I see him & we interact I never know how it'll go with my emotions.

Canceled a GAL activity for me tomorrow night to host a campout in our backyard for S11 and friends.

Unfortunately it looks like rain & he is soooo distraught as it's the one thing he wanted to do over his vacation & it "won't be the same" to sleep anywhere else but the fort that he & his friends created in our back woods.

So, a little dr."ama at bedtime over the lack of control of the weather! sigh.

GOing out w a friend tomorrow night. Oh yeah, yesterday when we swapped kids at the baseball field I let H know I was going out w a friend on Saturday night. He asked, "Who?" I said, "You don't know 'em." He said,"It's a HIM?!" I said, "No, it's a girl."

Then he got aggrevated and started walking away & said something like, "not this again" ...meaning that I didn't easily give him details of my night out w/o him asking questions.

I did think it was interesting that he was at all concerned or bothered asking questions about me going out & w who. I'm not reading into this but it is SOMETHING that he seemed a little bothered by me possibly going out w another guy.

Of course part of me started wondering WHY he reacted...would this make it finally okay for him to start dating OW??? Okay, STOP, turtlegirl, this is NOT healthy to mind-read.... sigh.