yes, I am a nice guy and I'm proud of that. If someone I care for needs something and I can help them, I will. But she just went from one difficult situation to the next and each choice she made seemed to make her more dependent on me. For example, she had two job offers in different parts of the city, she asked me which I thought was best and I told her that the one opportunity was in an area she knew, close to her friends, near her church, near her doctor and dentist, she knew the transportation system...and there was only one kid to care for. I said it would make her less reliant on me for things. She chose the other job, with two kids and just outside the city limits where transportation is not as regular. She liked the family better. OK. And within a couple of weeks she's complaining and saying "I'm giving this a few more weeks and then I'm looking for a new job" ...not with me you're not! I wasn't going through any more of that job search crap. Enough. It was just stressful situation after situation. I realized that this was not just situational this was going to be ongoing. How do you develop a real relationship where both parties can focus on meeting each others needs. You can't. It's crisis mode all the time. In some ways she was fantastic. I've never been with someone who was as attentive, able to say how she felt about me, encourage me, and be grateful. If I had a problem she'd listen and check in with me to see how I was. She stroked me and I was like a friggin' peacock spreading his feathers. I'd do anything for her! Yet she was also super dependent and controlling, not in an evil way but she manipulated to get what she wanted regardless of what I'd said about it. She'd just find another method. Lots to ponder but yes, I want a woman who I can be a partner with and not a caregiver to. Someone who can ask for her own friggin' TTC transit maps lol!
