Taking a step back-a fresh start

[cbtdad]

Somehow I get saved and still have a little hope. I have got to get out of my head and my own way. I need to let it go for now. It's the only chance I have.
So if you saw my post above you would see that I messed up.
Well, about 15 mins after I posted that W texted me back, and didn't answer that dumb question I asked about MC thank goodness, she said S wanted me to come over and play on playground. So I went and played for an hour. Afterwards we were giving him a bath. W said, sorry that I don't want to do anything tomorrow it's just that I've seen you 3 days in a row and I don't want to get into any "conversations"
I said I understand and I apologize for even asking the MC question. She then said she just want to get through his horse show without any added stress before hand. I said that makes sense.
So then we started discussing the horse show and she was telling me about who was staying at her dads house. I said that's nice, all people who are anti-me joking of course. She laughed and said they aren't anti-you they are just pro-me, I had to laugh at that. She went on to say she actually bats things off her trainer, who's a good friend of hers as well.
She told her trainer that she doesn't think she wants it to work.
She said her trainer said you have control over whatever you want to work.
Not sure what to really make of that statement.
But my response was, "I don't care if you want it to work. I'm not sure i know if I want it to work. I just want you to want to at least try and make it work"
I won't see her till Sunday. Thank God. Time to get out and GAL