Today I managed to validate my W emotions - which although I have tried before, I always ended saying too much or not really being able to do it without being detached from the sitch. But, for some reason, I have no idea why, I felt like i was consoling a friend rather than my W.
In a nutshell, W dad has really upset her, well he has been for months, and before that has been nothing but needy and draining to W since her mom died. So i let her talk, agreed with the bits I agreed with, nodded to the bits I was not too sure about, and commented about her feelings and his attitude when it felt right.
I also managed to give her a short hug, stroke her back and a quick friendly / reassuring kiss. Thats more physical contact than we have had for 6 months. Yes I may have taken advantage of her bad state, but in the past she has pulled away, or said 'i rather you didn't' but today she did not react. I am not reading anything into this, as she also made a point of saying nothing has changed she still feels the same. But again, I did not react, and I did not feel so hurt by it. I see today as a my first baby step. Even if its not a baby step for our M, its a baby step for my well being.
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
