Im just a young idiot that has been through divorce with a child and an aweful co parenting relationship but i will give you my .02 when it comes to the kid, cause it worked for me.
Kids are very intelligent. They see through everything. The decision i had to make was to ignore and NOT comment about the other parent. My ex has attacked me from all angles with our child and now she's 12, see's it clearly and the best part....she did it on her own and i cannot be blamed by the child for any negetive influence. I supported my daughter and talked when she needed to but I never blamed the other parent. i always stuck to talking about the behaviour and spoke about it in a human being tense if that makes sense. Like "sometimes humans act like this when this might be going on". I gave her just enough to think about and make her own conclusions. Though out the whole thing, she has ALWAYS relied and made comments about how she can always trust me for direction.... Not so much w/mom.
Also, getting a schedule together for your H to see the kids is important for the kids and you. If your kids know when they are going to see him or should be anyway, they will have routine in their lives, they need it. You will get some stability in your routine, you need it so youknow when you can spend time on you and on the kids.
Might make him think as well..... Again..just my .02.
