The biggest problem I see in these issues, whomever is the WAS seems to get by with a get out of jail free card while. Certainly the WAS is responsible for a portion of the M problems - in many cases. Just because they are the first to pull the trigger seems to mean the LBS gets to do all the changing? Do they ever have to come to grips with their part in what happened in their M? Is it fair? Is it equitable?
Yeah, it's frustrating. The only time they really have to own their part in it is if reconciliation ever happens, and only then if the LBS pushes for that. If the WAS expresses interest in reconciling then that is the time to push them to deal with their own mistakes in the marriage. But more often than not there is no reconciling or piecing, so the WAS just carries all their baggage into the next relationship and that's probably a contributing factor to so many more second marriages failing.
