Have you communicated to him, in a calm and detached way, that you have thought about this and don't want the D? I think this is important to do so, and would be okay to repeat, to make sure he knows you are consistent. The idea is not to change his mind or plead with him, but just to make sure he is not misunderstanding your state of mind.
I hope you can find friends or IC to talk to about this (or vent a bit on this site). You're going through a tough time. The main advice my IC gave me at this point was to have patience and compassion for myself. Take care of yourself!
H: 38 xW: 38 M: 16 T: 18 S: 9 BD: 2/2012 W moved out 4/2012 D: 11/2012
(((Shiss))) Try to do do something for you tonight.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Anyone have any advice to stall since I received papers? My L knows I want to. H put on the papers he desires no conciliation.
I have been told that M is both legal and emotional. This paperwork only pertains to the legal aspect of it, so try to view it that way.
The fact that he desires no R is probably standard language. I wouldn't concern yourself with the legal mumbo jumbo. I wanted to respond to my D with "it's not broken" but I couldn't do that and offer settlement, so I had to agree it was broken. I don't think that....just legaleze to get the job done.
My L told me that objecting to the D just means fighting through court and ending up just as D but way poorer. For me, it's a complicated question. Do I want a divorce? Heck no.
But I have a husband who does not want to be married to me, does not have any of the characteristics of a husband, and cannot/will not change, has no desire to change, no desire to make a marriage with me. So again, do I want a divorce *from that*? Yes. I don't see value in my life by standing indefinitely for something that doesn't exist anymore.
You can't make H want to stay in a bad marriage, you can't make him want to make it a better marriage. Fighting to make him stay won't keep him. Hang in there. You have a beautiful future ahead of you, no matter what.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
