My goal is for her to think after I've left, "Hmm, maybe he's not that bad of a guy after all. I really enjoyed him being here."
Me thinks you miss the point....
RS...
Why wouldn't your goal be...
To go, and be yourself, and IF she misses THAT guy ???
Then you are building something that is real, instead of some act, that she will see through, like a glassed bottomed Navy ship....
Single...
I'm not convinced that you are doing this completely. I see signs of you wanting to do better, or at least you say that you want to do better, and then I see you say things that go against everything that you said you wanted to change.
What you typed up there, I read as manipulative from you.
Do you see that ???
You see...
DBing teeters on manipulative behavior. the difference is how the focus is applied..
Splitting hairs ?
Maybe...
Going there with the intention of solely changing her mind with your actions, whilst knowing full well that you really don't have it in you to be consistent with the things that YOU want to change about yourself, and your intention is to purely to change her mind...
Is manipulative...
Actually doing the hard work, changing your behavior, and going there to help her with what SHE needs, regardless of her response, yet HOPING that she sees a different side of you, and not expecting anything in return....
Is actual DBing...
And then there is this..
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Originally Posted By: RS
Well I appreciate all the assistance I've been given during my time of need. I understand that you veterans are probably helping others that need it more than me. I respect that.
That reads just a tad bit passive aggressive....
And maybe a behavioral pattern that you display when things don't go the way that you want them too. ( dammed expectations). What it also says, is that IF that is true, what happens when you go there with the premise to help her move, you try to take over, temperature check her. She gets pissed, you fight, and you passive aggressively say "fine!", and travel back to your base ????
And then you come here, and post about how miserably YOU were treated by her...
