That's a very good question. I'm looking forward to others response.
I would think its different on each scenario.
I know for me I will obviously do a temp check on 5/5 when I tell her look forward to seeing MC on 5/7 and I look forward to her joining me.
If she says no, I'm not going now. Then the writing will be on wall


M 37 W 30
S 7
Together 10 years
Married 9 years
BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day)
I moved to apartment 1/11/13
W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13
Peicing: 6/3/13
Reconciled: 7/2013
BD2: 4/20/16
still working on it