So for the first month and half this board I was very happy with the improvements in myself and how I was feeling about me. Over the last 2 weeks since the discovery of OM I have not been happy with my actions and not been happy with me. I do not like what I have seen, so it's time for a fresh start.
I am going back and treating me finding out about OM as another BD. Here are my things I will not do:
- No Snooping!! - No R talk - No sarcasm - No pursuing - No temp checking
Here are my 180's: - I will not raise my voice or engage in any arguments. I will walk way if need be - I will continue to spend quality time and have fun with son - I will not go out to get "drunk" - I will do "acts of service" within reason - I will listen and validate
Here are my GAL activities: - Play golf once every 2 weeks - Continue to work of relationship with Christ and church - Take piano lessons - say "yes" to all invites within reason - Read every night - Volunteer
I want the real me back! I am getting out of his fog. As a wise man told me, this is a chance to change your life and become a better man and a better father. A by product of that may be a chance to salvage your marriage. Time to get it done. Patience Patience Patience!
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
You may backslide from time to time. If you do, dont let it stop you from continuing on your path.
You got this, C.
Thanks!! I'm putting my foot down on this. I can not live with the constant thoughts in my head. I have to remember me worrying will have zero impact on the outcome.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Love the PMA! I know for me when my W came out about OM I wanted to either A: jump off a bridge or B: throw his ass off a bridge. So I had to very quickly accept that situation or else someone was going to be the recipient of needless violence. And the snooping.... nothing good there.
Love the lists btw. Keep it up!
Also thanks for the advice about my S's living sitch. W and I came up with a better arrangement. Better for S that is.
Me-36 W-31 M-7 S-5 BD Dec/12- things were wrong for awhile, head was in the sand
Seeking means: to have a goal Finding means: to be free, to be receptive, to have no goal
"Also thanks for the advice about my S's living sitch. W and I came up with a better arrangement. Better for S that is."
That's great to hear. Remember it put more strain on you or w, but if its better for him than that is what matters.
Lol about option B!! Trust me, it has crossed my mind since he will be close by and I know exactly where. But as a wise mine told me. He isn't the problem, he is merely a symptom of the problem! And just like W is lying to you, she is lying to him about the time she is spending with you as well most likely.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
