Is this cake eating 13

[keep_going]

NLW,

I agree with KD. Talk to a L about this.

At least in the US it can get really, really tricky because it is all subjective. In your case, your H has clearly behaved in a very inappropriate manner with the kids so it's not surprising that they don't want to go with him.

Yet, if your H forces the kids to get evaluated and the evaluator determines that there are some parent alienating behaviors present, you could even lose custody...

I don't know all the details, but from what I have learned, speaking in a negative way about your spouse in front of them or using language that constantly reinforces a negative notion like "he abandoned you" or "he is unstable" can be deemed as alienating.

And you never know the biases that an evaluator can bring to the situation. Either way, you don't want your custody determined by a stranger, 3rd party, so talk to your L, find out the specifics and protect yourself.

((((NLW))))