Thanks

[PatientMan]

Kind of a bad day today for me today. W's L pressed for details for the divorce decree and so I discussed that over email. Based on another thread I found out I can look online and see if a divorce petition has been filed, which I find out it was back in February. Our state has a 60 day waiting period from the time of petition. I didn't know that the 60 days was from the filing of petition and I also didn't know that she had actually filed.

She hasn't discussed the divorce petition filing with me, when the 60 days is in effect, when that period is over, or what to expect. She hasn't kept me in the loop at all. And since I don't ask about the R, I haven't brought it up.

Also today I found out that one of her employer's paychecks has not been hitting our joint bank account, meaning she's funneling money into a personal account knowing that finances for her will be tough post-D. I understand that this provides her with some security, but it's just the deceit that keeps hurting me.

I'm trying to let me feelings subside, but I am hurt and confused as to why the deceit keeps coming.

1) Talking to the OM while we are still M.
2) Moving forward with the divorce without keeping me in the loop as to her plans.
3) Setting aside personal money while our joint account pays our bills (and we are scraping by given we are paying for two living spaces).

I'm past fooling myself into thinking there is much hope, but I have repeatedly stressed honesty as the most important thing to me, and I'm having trouble with the continuous deceit.

I need to recover emotionally so I can think about this rationally, but are there any suggestions? I'm in a bad spot right now. When I feel betrayed like this I have trouble being around her and want to cut off communication.