rH ~ I am glad you are taking it easy for a bit, you will be well rested and ready for your new workout routine!
I am so very glad I have been able to be with you on your journey. I remember back in December, it was such a painful and dark time for you with the D looming. Maybe it is true that things are always darkest right before dawn
I am glad you have been with me on my journey too - it's been an interesting one so far!
You aren't the only one who SO wants my H's fog to lift lol!!!
UW~ I am going to stay the course, doing my thing, letting him blow in the wind. I think maybe being the lighthouse isn't standing still as a beacon to guide them home, but more like a moth to the flame light source that they are drawn to.
And I feel like THIS light source is really starting to shine
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So H came home right after golf last night, which really surprised me. I wasn't expecting him till a few hours later.
He seemed happy about golfing, and we chatted for awhile about how he played. He was very lovey with the boys too.
Was a little more distant this morning. Told him a friend had texted me last night to meet up with our kids, so I would be doing that after work. He got irritated -again- and said "Well if she texted you last night, why didn't you tell me last night?"
What????
I told him because I was already in bed, and didn't think he would care anyway. H was very quiet for rest of the morning, and seemed down when saying goodbye.
Thing is, if he checks the cell phone account, he will see I was telling the truth - unlike him!!!!!
He does make jokes from time to time, something I have really missed. He used to be one of the funniest people I knew with such a great sense of humor. I do see it slowly creeping back in - a joke here - a playful comment there - sometimes even smiling and laughing!
Then other days... He sits as though he was etched in stone.
Looking forward to a fun time with my friend and our kids this evening
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
TVS, my H was the funniest person I have ever known, he would tell me he'd do anything to hear me laugh. Now he looks so miserable, the kids said he never jokes around anymore or acts goofy the way he did.
So glad your H is getting his back, funny how these are what we miss the most.
M 41 H 43 M 22 S 18 S 14 D 11 Affair discovered 1/12 He filed 2/12 OW#2 7/12 she lives next door. D pending
It really is the little things I miss so much, the little nuances of our R and just the little things that made my H my H.
UW - I do hope he can catch up one day, I really do. Some days I can totally see it happening, other days not so much.
Today is one of the other days.
Somebody is in a pi$$y mood today, and it's not me!!!
When I came home last night with the kids, he was very down. He asked me how my evening was, and I said I had a fun time. I asked him the same thing, and he shrugged his shoulders and looked real sad and said, "No different than usual."
Huh????
He was quiet again this morning. He was in a bad mood from the get go when he came home from work today. Just snotty in general. I had bought a bouquet of flowers for our kitchen table for when my friends came over last weekend. He points to it today and asks in a disgusted voice "What's this?"
Ummm...It's been there since the weekend, he's just curious about it now?
Then he tells me he's going out with his brother on Friday. He knows I usually go to yoga on Fridays. I think he's testing me like a two year old to see my reaction. My parents are away, so I have no one to watch the kids. I don't know, I just sense that he's trying to push my buttons.
Oh, but I have seen this movie before. Not gonna happen.
Off to yoga now, going to sweat out my anger
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
When I came home last night with the kids, he was very down. He asked me how my evening was, and I said I had a fun time. I asked him the same thing, and he shrugged his shoulders and looked real sad and said, "No different than usual."
I was thinking about your sitch the other day, tvs. I'm thinkin' from his POV. All he has is lies, hiding, unattractive married GF, still has poor health, doesn't feel good a lot, and sleeping terrible.
If he thinks at all about you--you're bubbly, cheerful, social, nothing to hide, sleeping in the big bed, healthy, loving, great mom.
No wonder he's so miserable.
I think the comment about the flowers is just him trying to get under your skin. I remember one time when the boys were little I had beautiful flowers on the kitchen table and H came in and leaned over and said there was a little spot I had missed on the floor when cleaning it. Grrrrr!!!!
If you have the strength to continue, I think you are heading in a good direction. He has a lot of things to work through and he needs to see that beautiful and loving prize in his face every day to remind him what he is missing!
Hope the yoga is the prescription you needed tonight! rH
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
Totally agree with RH. He is definitely wondering where he fits into your life. You are managing great and he can't believe you're not in the foetal position, sucking your thumb, rocking and crying yourself to sleep each night.
Keep doing what you're doing. Your H may be doing some inner soul searching and wishing he had what you had...the ability to shine, no matter what adversity is thrown your way.
Hey T, yep, he's thinkin'....something along the lines of, wait a minute, this isnt how it was supposed to go! I told her I was unhappy, got myself a girlfriend. All that was supposed to make everything better and it's not going the way I imagined in my head.
He is starting to feel reality hit him in that jello head.
rH, Gal, UW ~ You guys are the best! I love knowing that my posse always has my back
I like what you said rH about imagining things from his POV. Of course, sometimes I feel like his POV changes from minute to minute!
But yes, his life is crumbling apart, much of it self induced. I wonder if he ever thinks, "how do I get myself out of this mess I made?"
Which to be honest, is a very good question!
And Gal, I think being such a mess during the bomb drop that he expects me to still be that version of TVS. But I'm not. He has been so totally self involved that he hasn't really noticed me - but now that he peeked his head out a little, I feel like he is trying to make sense of what he's seeing.
UW, it's like first he rewrites our history to make things convenient for him, then he wrote in his mind this great future he was going to have with his new found love in his life.
Too bad it was all one big FAIL!
On one of your old threads, someone that had posted to you had this quote as part of their signature -
"Never make someone a priority who makes you an option"
Hell. Yeah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoga was great tonight, am very thankful for that outlet. When I came home, he was taking the boys for a walk around the neighborhood. So I showered and packed lunches, happy to be able to do both in peace and quiet!
H still moody tonight, but not quite as bad. He got a shower, and that seemed to improve his mood.
Another day down in MLC limbo land! Have a great night everyone
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Tvs... sorry to just jump in, but can I ask if you and h are still living together? gosh! that must be tough. Is he still with OW (friend)? Has h made any efforts toward saving your M?
Tx... wfm
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Oh yes, we are still living together. My H seems to be one of the rare ones that never uttered the D or S word, and never left home. That didn't stop him from getting an OW though! Of course he denies it, has denied it for almost a year and a half.
I really don't know what's going on in their R right now. I don't even think they know, they are both so self-absorbed and clueless!
He has made zero efforts in saving our M. To be honest, I don't know that he's capable of making any real efforts till he gets himself straightened out. I feel like he can't address us till he addresses himself.
I still have hope that he will be able to make it through - one day
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
