1. I have been spending a lot more time at home, taking the kids to practice, helping around the house, walking the dog with her, etc. But, our fun time has mostly had other friends around. Wednesday she suggested going out to dinner as a couple only and I was looking forward to it, then yesterday she emailed that she had a new recipe to try... 2. Therapy, as described above. We have weekly appointments set for the next few weeks already. 3. Snooping. I know this is a dangerous activity, but I feel so alone and in the dark that I have been. She has been very protective of her phone, so either she suspects I am looking at it or there is more on there that she is deleting. 4. I have tried to focus a lot on the kids. 5. Even before the talk, I had started watching my diet and not drinking if she wasn't, plus working out. I am ideally 205, but am usually 210 +/- 5 lbs. I had reached 229 in January, and am back to 213 this morning. 6. I haven't talked to any family, and few friends. The only friends are husbands of wives where we are close friends with couple. I feel like a failure and am embarrassed, plus I don't want things to be weird with friends and family once we work through it. But, I suspect she has talked to more. 7. I have subsribed to Mort Fertel's marriage max daily feed and as a result have: a. Got her a nice card for Easter. b. Put a card in her car last week telling her I loved her. c. Bought her a small gift - $7 Brewer earrings, that reflected I had been paying attention when we were shopping the weekend before. d. Gave her another card yesterday.
8. I have been texting and emailing her daily to see how her day is going and volunteer something else in terms of my day. Sometimes she responds positively, othertimes, crickets. 9. I am about halfway through Gottman's Seven Secrets book. Great book. She said she will read a book that our therapist recommends, but wants to wait (he recommended this one for me).
How am I doing?
A lot of this seems like pursuit behavior, which you don't want to do with a MLC. In newcomer's see Sandi's 37 rules.
