On another note, we started a more serious conversation last night...H is researching codependent relationships. Sounds like that is one of his fears...I can see why he worries about that - he had a horrible experience with my leaving, along the lines of life was not worth living. He says he would never go to that place again, but it must still be worrying him a little.
That is huge, please take serious note of that. I would feel the same if I were in his place, not sure how you can help with that. Maybe find out what book he read and purchase a copy so you two will have some common ground in a conversation about that subject. Remember to validate his fears don't fix them.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
