Did you watch "The Miracle Worker" with Anne Bancroft? 1962? It's my inspiration.
If I can help this man learn some relationship skills, he might actually have a mutually satisfying, healthy, normal relationship with a woman someday...the one thing that has eluded him his whole life.
I have seen it, and while it's a great movie and very inspirational, I'm not sure there's an appropriate parallel to draw to your sitch. You sound very controlling to me, and now your response to your sitch is that you need to force your H to "learn some relationship skills". Well if your H has perceived you as controlling and that has driven him away, then becoming a hyper-controller is going to make things much worse, not better. MWD warns about this in DR- we expect our actions to give us certain results, and if they don't, we think we're just not trying hard enough and so we double our efforts behind those actions instead of doing 180's on them. The result is we push ourselves farther and farther from our goals.
So, ask yourself if trying to fix your H is just "more of the same" behavior on your part, and if it is, what would be the opposite of that? What would be a 180?
