Thank you all for the wonderful support and kind feedback, I greatly appreciate it I've been kicking this development around the last day and think I may need to try something else. MWD does say in DR to take stock of things now and then and make adjustments if required. I've been largely dim with W for quite a while, 4 or 5 months. Texts and emails have been very rare and usually centered around kid coordination, no phone calls unless it was something urgent about the kids, very little face-to-face contact which again has been centered around the kids. I think I am going to back off of the going dim stuff and reach out to W a bit and see how it goes. I'm not talking about full-on pursuit, but just send her more texts and emails in a friendly way. For example, a mutual friend of ours is buying a new Shelby (I hate him now, LOL!) and sent me some pics, so I forwarded them on to W today and also told her about S10's scout meeting last night. She replied right away and favorably which is frankly pretty unusual for her. We've since traded several nice emails today. Not reading anything into it, but I'll take it as a sign that she's not against the idea.
I'm not saying that going dim didn't work, but I am saying that maybe it has lived out it's usefulness in our case and it's time for something else.
Maritimer- sorry to hear about the mediation, my thoughts are with you!
subguy- glad you're enjoying the bike!! I took S10 out for a short ride on the Street Glide to grab dinner and you'd think he had won the Lotto! He loved it! I need to remember to take him out more!
Inside Out- DB pool party! That would be awesome, it doesn't look like much right now but by mid-summer when the banana trees are leaved out and the flowers blooming it looks pretty amazing Plus I have a margarita machine It's not a real big pool but there's a giant curvy slide (7' off the ground), a big stone waterfall and a grotto with a shelf over it that spills water. There's a tanning shelf with a mosaic of a shark and he has water spraying out of his mouth. Fun stuff!
Intact- I've certainly had my unsteady times But the dips are much smaller these days than early on. Early on they were like giant chasms and now they're just little waves. Before it was hard to see anything to be thankful for, but now the bad times don't prevent me from seeing the good things all around me.
Papa4Life- "hellish roller coaster ride", LOL! Funny but unfortunately accurate too
cbtdad- I've got to constantly remind myself not to read too much into what W says, you know the DB rule about not believing anything they say. Even 10 months in I don't know that she's REALLY as convinced inside as she pretends to be outside. I don't know if you've read Mandy's sitch, but (I think it was after 8 months of S) she pretty much told her H to quit bugging her and get on with his life because she was DONE, and no sooner had she said that then she started second-guessing her decision and by the time she decided she wanted to reconcile he had moved on to another woman. I'm trying to keep all these things in mind.
jp787- thanks you, S10 is resilient but we're keeping tabs on him and asking the school nurse to do the same so we can pull him into therapy if he needs it.
bustingout- yes the children is what tears me up too, because I still remember the hurt from my parents divorcing. It has stuck with me my entire life. I don't want them to bear those scars too, but in my case my mom (WAW) basically abandoned us and thankfully my W is still quite involved with the kids, so I think it'll be easier for them than it was for me and my siblings.
Tallula- so sorry to hear you're heading for D Thank you for the compliments though
I've been kicking this development around the last day and think I may need to try something else. MWD does say in DR to take stock of things now and then and make adjustments if required. I've been largely dim with W for quite a while, 4 or 5 months. Texts and emails have been very rare and usually centered around kid coordination, no phone calls unless it was something urgent about the kids, very little face-to-face contact which again has been centered around the kids. I think I am going to back off of the going dim stuff and reach out to W a bit and see how it goes. I'm not talking about full-on pursuit, but just send her more texts and emails in a friendly way. For example, a mutual friend of ours is buying a new Shelby (I hate him now, LOL!) and sent me some pics, so I forwarded them on to W today and also told her about S10's scout meeting last night. She replied right away and favorably which is frankly pretty unusual for her. We've since traded several nice emails today. Not reading anything into it, but I'll take it as a sign that she's not against the idea.
It's not a real big pool but there's a giant curvy slide (7' off the ground), a big stone waterfall and a grotto with a shelf over it that spills water. There's a tanning shelf with a mosaic of a shark and he has water spraying out of his mouth. Fun stuff!
Thank you for the compliments though 
