however there is still a lot of anger and he is constantly bringing up the past and how I have hurt him.
I'm curious how you respond to him when he brings this up?
Quote:
but we end up fighting about the past.
You need to break this cycle. He needs to be able to talk about his concerns about the past with you without it turning into a fight. It takes TWO to fight. One person (you) does have the power to change the dynamics. Did you fight at RetroV when all those emotions came pouring out? Or did you validate?
Quote:
I still want to reconcile, but I am getting to my breaking point. I don’t know how much longer emotionally I can take this.
Have you read DR? These are signs that you are not detached. If you effectively detach then you can handle your sitch with grace and love without it affecting you emotionally. Essentially if you're detached there is no "breaking point". That's where you need to be.
Quote:
I feel I need to know if there is a future or not. I just need some closure.
If you push for this, then the closure you're going to get is divorce. That would be very unfortunate as I'm reading some very positive signs in your sitch, signs that most people here would be elated to see in their own sitches.
Quote:
Am I giving up too soon? Is 7 mths not long enough?
I wouldn't measure progress from BD, measure it from S instead.
Quote:
We have been apart for a couple of weeks and in those 2 weeks I have started to see some changes
If you're seeing changes after only 2 weeks then that is a great sign.
Quote:
Happy 10 year anniversary I hope we can make things work between us.
When I read the card, my heart sank in a Bad way.
Honestly, I am amazed at that!! Are you generally a pessimistic person? Are you the kind of person that if you found out you won a million dollar lotto you'd be angry that it wasn't 3 million? LOL! I'm just kidding, but seriously, he says he wants to make things work and that makes your heart sink???? You're being overwhelmed by negative energy and that in itself could kill your chances. You need to change your attitude, start appreciating the positive steps you're seeing and focus on that instead of seeing bad news even in places that there is none.
Quote:
I think my expectations are way to high, but I don't know how to lower them.
You don't need to lower them, you need to GET RID of them. You need to have NO expectations.
Quote:
However when he left tonight he said I know we need to talk about the relationship at some time but I am not ready. I am till too angry. I can't fathom this anger he has for me. I have for months tried to understand it, but I can't.
You've been to RetroV, so you know all about validating emotions. You don't need to "try to understand it", you need for him to tell you what he's feeling, and you need to validate him.
Quote:
Why can't my H make a decision? He said he hopes things work between us.
Sounds like he has made a decision then. You just refuse to believe it.
