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In kinda struggling with this today, We have a appointment to see a mediator on wed. He is also her therapist. I am getting worn down with all this family conflict. She want me to leave but I cannot afford to support 2 places.

She keeps telling me that she in going through with this divorce till the end. I never mention it but she keeps reminding me. It starting to get to me. I just want it to stop...


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Joined: Feb 2013
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Originally Posted By: Maritimer
She keeps telling me that she in going through with this divorce till the end. I never mention it but she keeps reminding me.


Maybe it isn't for you? Maybe she keeps saying it to convince herself she's doing the right thing?

Mind reading, I know...


Me: 44 ; W: 41
M: 24 ; T: 25
D:23, D:22, D:13
Divorce papers filed
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Originally Posted By: bblake1968
Originally Posted By: Maritimer
She keeps telling me that she in going through with this divorce till the end. I never mention it but she keeps reminding me.


Maybe it isn't for you? Maybe she keeps saying it to convince herself she's doing the right thing?

Mind reading, I know...


It hurts either way. The constant reminder of being rejected by your wife and mother of my children is emotionally challenging.


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 251
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We are going to mediation tonight. It all seems so quick!

My main concern is that she dont want to share custody of the children. She also wants me to move out of the family home. I have trouble validating these requests.

Any tidbits of advise going into this emotionally challenging meeting?


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
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I agree with bblake on the mind reading, it does make you wonder if they are trying to convince themselves of it to make it easier on them. Just my two cents...


Me 29
H 28
M 9
T 11
No kids
2 dogs
H moved in with parents 3/21/13
H wants a D 4/2/13
D Filed 4/5/13
Served 4/17/13
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I wonder... why do you have to move out of the house? Is the house under her name? And with all the changes you've made, why do they not want to share the custody?


M37 H36
M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist
7/12:H broke down
10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after
1/13:H wants to leave
2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving
3/13: S begins
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She wants me to move out because she says she gets no privacy.

Its a small home so usually we are all in the living room. I enjoying playing with my children so I hang out their. I am giving her more space by getting out for longer walks in the evenings and on the weekends I try to be out all day. I cant afford to move out until the home sells.

Our 3 year old is Autistic and she feels that the transition from house to house every 3 days will be hard on him. Anything we do moving forward will be a huge change for everyone! Him not seeing his father or mother each night. The boys enjoy spending time with both of us.

She is very depended on our children, they are her world. Any time away from them and she will become lonely and depressed.

I dont want to hurt her but I do want to see my children as much as I can.


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
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They might be her world and she might become lonely and depressed but reality is if she wants to split up the family it's not all going to work out perfectly. You obviously love your kids so why should they miss out on that for her.

My S3 is autistic. It was strange for him at 1st but now he looks forward to coming to my house. Now it's part of his routine.


M36 W31
S4 S2
T5 M4
BD Jan12 S July12
Recon Sep12-Nov12
ILBINILWY Jan13
OM x 2 in 2013
W wants R July 13
I start D. Jan 14.
Meet GF Nov 13
Have I changed enough? Jul 14

The World is still My Oyster!
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I don't want to sound mean here but this is the path that she has chosen. She loves her kids and that is great but so do most people. It sounds like you do too. You have a right, a want and a need to see your kids just as much as her. It will be hard on everyone involved, no doubt about it. But, why do you feel that you have to be the one to make all of the concessions? I think that the WAS will sometimes take advantage of the LBS knowing that they want to stay together and the LBS will sometimes give more and be a doormat with hopes of "winning" the WAS back. Protect yourself. Ask for what is FAIR. Keep a calm and level head tonight and good luck.


M 37 W 36
T22
M14
D8
D4
8/2012 distanced
BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.)
W move out date: June 8th.
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I obviously don’t know much about autistic kids but my nephew-in-law is and I know he needs a constant care. I know his parents had a fallout few years back but they seem to be stronger than ever and the boy seems very happy. But even if they hadn’t made it, I can’t even imagine the boy not seeing his dad. Every time I see them together they seemed really close.

I understand you wouldn’t want to hurt her but she’s obviously not thinking clearly. How in the world can she think her taking care of your autistic boy alone and not allowing him to see his dad will be easier for him? I just don’t understand it.

This is just my opinion but I would remind her that you would love to give her all the space she needs but you simply cannot afford to move into an apt unless the house sells. You have to take care of yourself and the kids before her.


M37 H36
M8 T12 inc 3yr L-dist
7/12:H broke down
10/12:H dad D frm W4. BD soon after
1/13:H wants to leave
2/13:H gpa passed. Feels closer but H still leaving
3/13: S begins
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