I'm going to echo Kaffe Diem. You are focusing alot on what you want. It's good to have goals, but you also need to be happy with what you have. I've read many stories on these forums that are much worse than yours (and mine). Show your W you are happy with what you have.
If you aren't happy with what you have, you will lose it. I had 3 good days in a row where my W anger just seemed to disappear. I pushed my W by asking to spend time together with friends thinking it was a 180. The anger came back. I think my W will come back in time. Her time (not mine). Maybe the same could happen for you. Have hope but not expectations. It won't be easy.
One other note. Recurring advice on these forums is GAL (get a life). Many people consider this part of the detaching process. It's good for you and your W emotionally. Find something else to make you happy to get your mind off of what is making you unhappy and what's missing. When you don't spend so much time on your W or R, she has time to reflect on R without pressure or frustration. Let her sort things out.
