Originally Posted By: mrtwopointfour

From what i understand the goals are set to how you want to see improvement in your M. For instance, I would like my W to sit in the same room as me at night.

However, many comments from people on here are that we can not control W and therefore goals should be about doing things for ourselves not how we want our W or H to change.

This leaves me a little confused. Which is it?


I like to think of things like that as "baby steps" rather than "goals". Make your goals about things you have direct control over, IE, if you take that action you've reached your goal. Maybe it's running a 10k, or losing 15 pounds, or learning a foreign language. Then have a separate list of baby steps. The goals measure your personal development progress, and the baby steps measure your marital development progress.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57