Now, just like DBing, the LL tools are not a precise science. It can give insight and help understand who we can work on getting better at certain things.
If you are correct about your H having one of his major LLs as Words of Affirmation, then not only would your lack of positive affirmation be troublesome for him, but your criticizing / complaining (if he saw your feedback that way) could have been additionally harmful. Add to that the OW (or others) are giving him those words of affirmation and he'd certainly be drawn to it / her.
That does not mean that you should not have helped him understand that keeping himself presentable was important. It is just good to know how it could have affected him. Using LL to fill a partner's "love bucket" is as much about making more "deposits" than "withdrawals".
Right now, it is probably a really good idea to focus on yourself. What are some things that you would like to make better, about yourself? I know you've been working on dropping weight. Are you working out or getting in walks or other exercise? Also, do you notice that you have a tendency to want to help people too much, offering feedback and advice when they don't ask for it? If so, you could work on that, as well. These would be 180s. Anything else?
Also, GAL. Get into your hobbies or get hobbies. Get yourself out if you can, to do things that interest you. You are going to need to work yourself back up the emotional ladder and GAL is a great way to help you become more confident and positive about yourself and life, again.
What are some GAL activities you could do, or do more of?
As you work on yourself and become a better person than you already are, your life will get so much better, even if your M is not saved. It will go a long way to helping you in the future, what ever relationships you have.
