Time, Space and Proof

[moth76]

I am realizing this, and learning to accept that the right answers only hurt my selfish ego. But at every turn when I have been able to accept what is and focus on my problems I feel so much better.

I drove to W's house last night and we talked about the arrangement for S. It went even better than I could have imagined. S will live with her and I will get him on my day off. Also we had one day that was in conflict because of something that my wife has been going to for awhile. She invited me to spend the night at her house so I can be with S on that night and morning. Not reading into it, but the fact that she is
comfortable enough having me there is nice.

Also she brought up a little R talk. Asking me where I am at with everything. I told her that I was working on me and using the opportunity to become a better me. I asked her how she felt now that she has her space. She said she feels a little peace but is trying to figure out how to be whole and who she has become. Some things she is proud of and some things not. She said she has felt a lot of guilt and didn't/doesn't mean to be hurtful to me or S in all this.

There has been a subtle shift in her verbiage. I feel like it is a positive baby step that my changes are being noticed. She used the phrase " the way you were" several times in discussing her feelings. Just the general phraseology around that was accepting of me becoming changed.

This is a big change from a few months ago, where everything was just the way you are, I don't think you can change that etc.

It is sooooo easy to get sucked into that chaotic nonsense in my head!
I am at peace now, refocused.