Stuck..how do I get out???

[mizjjd]

H laughed and asked me what stress I was under...seriously???

Lol. Sadly, yes it is indeed "seriously". Idk if you read my thread, I had almost the same sitch in just the past couple of days... my H asks me "what's wrong?" (And the thoughts that go through my mind, such as, CAN YOU REALLY BE THAT DUMB? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW WHAT'S WRONG?? Fortunately I didn't let those thoughts past my lips - came here and vented instead )

I was reminded that

A. It's all about "them"
B. They are ahead of the LBS in adjustment, because this has been brewing in their minds for quite a while. But, they expect the LBS to be on the same page. So, amazingly, they genuinely do not know "what's wrong" or what stress we are under.

Chalk it up to the wonders of MLC, TnD.

I think it is "good" that you are becoming more accepting of the sitch. It will allow you to adapt, adjust and eventually thrive. The LBS has to get past denial - which is often time spent expecting the WAS/MLCer to "snap" out of it. This time ends up being wasted by the LBS because it is time used waiting on the spouse instead of time being used on healing the self.

However, accepting is not the same thing as agreeing, or being ok with the sitch. It is absolutely fine, and good I think, that you are NOT ok. Because it shows you are a person of commitment and integrity. You may accept the reality of how your M is now without accepting the terms of the M.

"Not crying everyday" is a big step. Good for you TnD!! It means you are getting stronger and are ready to start taking care of yourself (But the tears may still strike at times - if they do just let them and the sadness wash over, and wash away.)

You are doing some of the hardest work right now TnD, and you're getting stronger.