NILWY - There is this "chemistry" b/w us

[Kim65]

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And the thing is I know that H does care. There are times H has tears in his eyes and he has said this is traumatic for him as well and I can see that this is s painful for him. I's hard to understand it all...

And your right KD the A is not a deal breaker for me. I understand that this can happen in a relationship and I also believe that everyone deserves second chance. H has always said that an A is a deal breaker as he felt things would never be the same in a R again. I just wish that he would give our R a second chance but at this point in time he has made his choice.

Even though H has still been seeing OW, he has not made it obvious or throw it in my face, apart from last week when he went away with her. He spends the evenings home with me. It's not like H has been taking OW out on dates. The times when H does see OW is on his way home from the gym.

There are only a few things that I can think of that H could complain about. I was critical of him at times, the way he folded the clothes, that his eyebrows needed a trim as they were long & wirery and his ears waxy.

I know that our sex life had dropped off. But he said that it didn't bother him. I think that apart from me being tired I also felt a little self conscious of my weight as I had gained a few kilos over the years. But H never saw my weight as a problem, I did.

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Since this all happened I have been very mindful not to say anything that could be seen as being critical of H. I have also lost 20kilos (44pound) and feel so mush better about my body. My weight loss has been for me, but H has definitely noticed. I have always been active and have exercised regularly, I just ate to much..

I have also taken the 5LL test s u suggested KD. My top 2 were Touch and Quality Time. I did H's test to how I thought he would answer. It came up with his top 2 as equal Affirmation and Touch.

I thought about those findings and realize that I need more quality time and intimacy with H and he needed more intimacy and needed to hear more positive talk from me?? I have always thought positive of H, he's a wonderful man, maybe he needed to hear more from me. I know that OW was always "floating" his boat.. I would hear her say how wonderful he is ect ect.... used to annoy me hearing that from her. This created the uncomfortable feeling I had about their friendship!!

Thanks so much for your input KD and AS I will get to you post ASAP!! Thankyou both..

I am still having trouble quoting!!