Alan, even though in your last post you suspect your M is over, that is possibly your emotions speaking. That's understandable. Most of us have gone through the emotional ups and downs.
I don't think there's an e-book of DB or DR, so you'll have to wait or maybe you can find a copy at the library, for the time being.
As far as 5LL, it's a great book. Just refrain from passing on any self help info to your W. She will just see it as pressure. If you want to know her LL, you will need to figure it out based on the info in the book and what you know about your W.
Having said that, do not use the info that your learn in attempting to change your W's mind. She will likely sense that you are trying to manipulate her, and that won't get you very good mileage.
The best course of actions remain, change yourself to change the sitch. Become the best man you can be, that only a fool would leave. If you end up D, then you are an awesome catch for any future R.
You will have moments of emotional roller coaster through this. You may want to look at info on the stages of grieving. Although the information is often in reference to death, it can also relate to any severe, emotional loss.
Also, none of this is linear. You may find yourself one step back after three steps forward. Just trust that every day has helped you grow and move forward.
Remember that this is not a quick fix. This will take time. Probably much longer than you think. There is the entire D process to go through during which... ANYTHING can happen... and you can get a good look at what that means, by reading through so many of the sitches, here.
