Letting Go & Moving Forward

[littleGTO]

Thanks, bustin,

I just finished reading your thread you gave me the link to. J3B definitely had some good advice--much of which I can use in my sitch.

I have some anxiety & need advice.

My H is on vacation this week & is w our boys every day. THe past two days have been packed w activities together & a day trip out to see his F/Sis. But, the anxiety for me is that he is taking the boys to a park tomorrow & for some reason I am anxious that he is going to try to meet up w OW & her kids.

He did this last Memorial Day when I was out of town visiting my B/SIL & met up at a bounce house place. (Before BD).

We had a convo a while back about her NOT being around our boys AT ALL. Other than that one time I don't believe they've ever seen her (& didn't probably even realize that she was anything other than a work friend of his that they just "happen" to run into there).

He said he understood my feelings (& I took this to mean he would respect them by NOT exposing them to HER).

BUt, I don't trust him & now I'm wondering if he feels he didn't make any kind of promise to me in that conversation.

And, I can just see him using this as an excuse to get together w her over vacation (although he could see her every evening if he was so inclined and I wouldn't even know).

My dilemma is do I say something to him now to assure myself that he is not meeting up w OW in their presence? Do I say "I assume you are respecting my request not to see OW when around kids?" Do I say nothing & have it eat away at me?

While I know I ultimately have NO CONTROL over what he does and doesn't do this is HUGE to me!

I am a wreck thinking that he could possibly do this! And, while I have thought about this (future) possible scenario of H introducing OW to our kids I am NOT ready to deal w how I would handle this with them.

I'm not sure that I wouldn't tell them who she is really is (although I know with every fiber of my being that this is NOT what I'd consider the right thing to do as I know I'd be telling them something that may taint their R w their dad & w her if she were to become someone more permanent in his life).

Any advice on the conversation I should or shouldn't have w H regarding him seeing OW "casually" at the park or anywhere else for that matter???