Well H came over last night. Making his typical every 3 day check-in. Texted me asking if I was home, said yes, but haven’t made any decisions on marital property or finances, he came over anyway. I acted as if, no begging, pleading, miss you’s or ILY’s. He hugged me twice, said he was sorry. He said his work is being affected by this, that his boss talked to him to ask him why he’s so out of it. He told me it would be easier if one of us had an affair or an addiction, that our marriage wasn’t horrible by any means. He told me my nails looked nice, and noticed my matching pink shirt and headband. H loves headbands for some reason. I told him I’m great, happy and that I’m getting along just fine, he agreed that I seem happy. I told him I certainly did not want the D, but that I wasn’t going to stand in his way and fight him.
H sat in the kitchen and looked around and said he “missed this.” He also said that he had never pictured his life without me. He said he was proud of me that I was doing things on my own (finances, giving dogs their shots, etc). He said being in the house by yourself would be depressing since you have no one to talk to. I replied, well I haven’t been home that much, been working a lot and going out. No sense in sitting in the house moping around.
Thoughts? Should I keep this “as if” attitude up?
Me 29 H 28 M 9 T 11 No kids 2 dogs H moved in with parents 3/21/13 H wants a D 4/2/13 D Filed 4/5/13 Served 4/17/13
I also like your C's advice. You will be taking some control of the situation while having him do the heavy lifting. If HE wants to make the decisions HE can do the work.
Remember all the positive comments and keep doing those things. Any negative comments?
I also like that HE texted you. Now go abuse your eliptical rock star
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Any negative from him? Well he just kept telling me that he was sorry. Not sure if that's a negative or not? I have NOT been texting/calling him. He texts me every three days and shows up at my house. It's like he needs a "fix" of me every few days. Is that weird or is that typical of the WAS?
Me 29 H 28 M 9 T 11 No kids 2 dogs H moved in with parents 3/21/13 H wants a D 4/2/13 D Filed 4/5/13 Served 4/17/13
It is very good. It means you're doing the right thing. When he does see you, keep up what you're doing the best you can. He will not come back to try to work things out with you BECAUSE you are hurting...he will only come back to try to work things out BECAUSE he is hurting without you and can see that being with you would be better than before. Be more patient than you ever thought you could be.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Thanks Advina, your advice is always helpful and gives me that extra push to keep going. You're a vet here and I look up to you and appreciate your opinion. Thanks for coming by my thread. Patience Patience Patience!
Me 29 H 28 M 9 T 11 No kids 2 dogs H moved in with parents 3/21/13 H wants a D 4/2/13 D Filed 4/5/13 Served 4/17/13
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
