First of all, we have all heard variations of the same things that your wife said to you.
I totally understand that you feel cheated out of saying your piece. I get that, really. But, oh well, life isnt fair, right? But, the single most important thing your wife needs is to feel heard.
You have to decide, what's more important, getting to say your piece or having her feel that you heard her completely?
And just because she feels this way today, does not guarantee she will feel this way in the future.
So, you have been given some valuable information from her. Take what you feel is valid, get rid of the rest.
The key to this is to make real, longlasting, consistent changes. Become your best you. So that if your wife looks toward you in the future, she will feel confident that things would be different.
You're right, Im a "talker" and a problem solver so it makes it that I didnt get to talk with her tough.
I'm coming to realize that it is utmost importance that she feels head. I've realized that a major issue for her was she WAS trying to get through to me in her own ways...and I didnt see/get all of her messages...
Yes, I agree and hope that the absolutes she is speaking in may not be her opinions and feelings down the road. I hope that is the case, everyone says to not believe everything she says...
I need to make changes or myself, first and foremost. Give her space to go on her journey, and go on mine...
It's just so hard to let go... I worry that everything she says he believes and won't change hr mind on...ever.. I need to focus on me... Somehow... Advice and support always welcome.
Here's the thing. Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome.
But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can.
I need to keep repeating this to myself over and over and over
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Here's the thing. Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome.
But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can.
I need to keep repeating this to myself over and over and over
me too. Very nicely worded and says it all. Ty urworthy.
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
Oh man. I am a talked and a fixer too. The listening and validating are learned traits and tak practice. W recently reaffirmed her position on leaving which felt like a punch to the gut and I didn't do a very good job at validating. You live and you learn (hopefully).
Very wise words uRworthy!
M 37 W 36 T22 M14 D8 D4 8/2012 distanced BD 11/2012 (likely wants D. Feelings have changed.) W move out date: June 8th.
I know the thing is to let go...but, how do you do that when you love someone with every fibre of your being?
I saw her last night dropping off D. We had a pleasant and smile filled on versatile. She seemed to be ome what happy... Hard to take.. I wonder if it's all true or acting as if like me? We talked about our common debt and he made the comment that eventually we'll split it 50-50, once gain cementing the end....
I didn't react, just said sure, whenever you want to talk about things, let me know.
I've never felt lower than this week. He is moving the rest of her stuff on he weekend. I'll be taking D away... I don't know if that will be more pain for me? Or if it will help?
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
M46,W41 D16,D18 M22,T25 BD 11/12 W moved out 01/13 Piecing 10/13 Divorced 01/15 "Whether you worry or not has no affect on the outcome. But, moving forward, letting go, and making changes can." UrWorthy
