Very first rule of "don't divorce club" - we can only control ourselves
second rule of "don't divorce club" - we can only control ourselves
There is a "sticky" topic in the newcomers forum called sandi's rules that give some really good advice, especially in extreme cases. Each sitch is unique, though.
I'm sure there is studies and information "out there", but for the most part, because of the uniqueness of any individual and situation, there is unlikely any hard and fast statistically information that you will find regarding any specific action or words that will increase or decrease the chances of divorce.
Since you can only control yourself, if he wishes to separate, that is up to him and you can not "stop" him. Although you are likely to get advice not to leave the marital home, unless you absolutely must (for your own physical or emotional safety).
While we may wish to "turn the other cheek", it is certainly never recommended to put yourself in harms way.
Boundaries could very well be a big factor in your managing your own presence around your H. If he is being pleasant, then certainly be around him and be loving as you would like. If he is being hurtful, then remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible, for that moment.
Also, get to truly understand about emotionally detaching from his words and actions. That does not mean you do not interact with him or stop acting in loving ways. It means you learn to not have emotional reactions regarding his words or actions.
