Crazy little thing called MLC

[Raine]

Hey Everyone! I thought I would pop in for a second and get caught up on some of the sitches. Things are going really well for me. H is here all day/all night, and we spend a lot of time together, just hanging out. He is extremely attached to the new baby. He holds him all the time, won't give him up to anyone. He wants to help me in the middle of the night, even though he sleeps on the couch. I've asked him almost every night to come in and hold the baby, not for my sake, but because I think H really wants to, but isn't going to ask. H sleeps half the night in the master bed, just holding the baby. I think it is the sweetest thing ever and I'm doing all I can to make sure he has those moments. This is not something he did with the other boys, but I kind of sense like he feels like he has his moment right now to be with the baby, and then it's going to go back to hardly seeing the kids anymore. It makes me cry to just type that out. It's hard for me to think he could be feeling that way and how sad that really is. It's moments like these that make me really grasp the amount of pain he must be in.

H has also been really good with the other boys, playing games with them, doing homework, taking care of meals. He is doing things around the house too, just helping out in anyway he can. His plan is to move back out when paternity leave is done, and I talk this way too. I've talked about when he moves out that he could keep doing the grocery shopping and get ours while he is getting his own. We're like really close friends. Some flirtations, but just joking, and low inhibitions (like him walking around in his underwear) but nothing husband/wife like.

I'm not talking about anything, and neither is he. I would suspect he is texting OW, but I'm just not concerned about that like I have been before. I feel like I'm so far away from reconciling any of this, that there are just more important things going on, as you all have pointed out too. I am just so happy that he is here and spending this time with the kids and bonding so tightly to this new little boy. 7-9 months back, the few months after BD, he said some horrible, awful things that I never thought I could forgive him for about this baby. I never thought he would be doing what he is doing now. Even a few days before delivery I didn't think he would be doing what he is doing now. I thought he would be here during the day for the kids and it would be hard to get him to even hold the baby. I'm so glad that I have been patient and allowed things to be in a place something like this could happen. Without this board and without doing research on MLC and DB, I would be divorce right now and possibly very bitter towards H. I may have never let him back in the door for anything, and that would be very sad for everyone, including me. I'm realizing more and more than somethings are more important than my marriage with H, and losing those things would be far more tragic than never getting back together with him.