LRT - Dealing with WAW Affair

[RealityTrip]

Hi SD, Thanks for checking in. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and advice. I appreciate everyone so much.

Yesterday was tax day and she was supposed to get the info to the accountant. She didn't, we filed an extentsion. But we are in the middle of a Re-Fi on our house and the mortgage company wanted the tax returns by yesterday. So yesterday I emailed her that I was taking the federal forms to the accountant. That's when she told me we are extending. Today I responded that I need to call the mortgage company and let them know when we will be sending it and could she tell me when she would get the tax info to the CPA. She responded back that she would send it by Monday (that tells me she hasn't been working on it like she eluded to recently). At the end of the email she complimented me, "Thanks for being on top of this!"

This is a bit of a 180 for me. She has always handled our finances. But between ILYBINILWY and PA BD, she turned over all of our finances to me. It was one of her resentments... that she carried the burden alone. I never knew it bothered her. I thought she preferred it that way so I always entrusted it to her.

It was nice that at the bottom of this email she acknowledged me. No worries friends, I will not respond and I will fade back to dark (unless Monday comes and the CPA doesn't get anything, I can't allow her to negatively effect my finances... at least until this modification completes and I have more room to separate finacially) I did open my own checking account! She did not like that.

It is curious though, how one small nicety from her can elevate my mood or make me hold my breathe. It just shows me how much more work I have to do with my detaching. I am still giving her control over my emotions. It's a reflex that I need to be more conscious of.