is standing more taboo than divorce?

[grebjack]

Who are these people telling married women to start dating men?? What kind of advice is that?

That's what seems so crazy to me. It's EVERYONE. The two of you posting here and my own moral compass make three voices shouting against an enormous chorus. I can't tell you how many times in the past week I've said "because I'm married!" only to have my friend, pastor, whoever, respond, "but you haven't lived together for five years," or "you're being too hard on yourself." I think the rest of the world has failed to see me as married from the moment I said "we're in trouble." My INSURANCE COMPANY required us to change our policies two summers ago on the grounds that we're no longer married, even though I live in a state with no legal separation, so there is NO change in our legal status, and even though it's an insurance company that works exclusively with military families so a huge fraction of their couples are geographically separated. It blows my mind.

Nothing wrong with having a fling but then again you are no better than your spouse or ex-spouse.

I make no claims to being better than my husband. He's actually pretty great and I have no evidence that he has ever cheated on me.

ANY MAN who WILL date you while YOU are STILL MARRIED is NOT quality material, despite how charming, handsome, and kind or whatever he may seem.

Yeah, I'm not in a position to judge his integrity at the moment - I've got my hands full looking out for my own. But in his defense, he has not asked me out, and he many not even be aware that I'm married since my husband is hardly my favorite topic of casual conversation.

Are you healed?

Not sure I ever will be, divorce or no divorce.

Thanks for your responses. It's nice to know I'm not the ONLY person who thinks of marriage as an exclusive relationship.