When does your S leave on trip? I feel you should go to the airport if you want to, but only if you can keep control of yourself. It may be a nice send off for H too to leave you smiling & waving. You need that positive action!
You're doing so great! You're really learning to not react. Just try to make intentional decisions based on this new you. It'll shine through. We can't control if H will ever soften to the changes, but you'll feel better and it will (hopefully) matter less in the long run.
