Thanks

[PatientMan]

Well, she called earlier and said, "I know you're going to yell at me, but I'm just telling you how I feel..." and then she went on about why she feels the way she feels about the way she feels she looks. So I said, "I can certainly understand why that is frustrating...to put so much effort into something and feel like you're not getting the results you want."

I think it's good that she still calls to vent. If she needs to vent, I'm here. If she needs me for anything, I'm here. I am not pursuing, and that's changed the dynamic of things quite a bit (it's been about 3 months since I read the book and found the forum), but that doesn't mean I am not here and in support of her.

This is definitely not the reason I am doing it, but not pursuing does cause her to temperature check me from time to time. The distance and pursuit dynamic certainly seems to be in effect.

It's interesting to feel like I am a step removed from all of this...almost like I'm watching it from a distance. She's on the roller coaster and I'm watching from behind the protected area. I'm there, just not on it with her.

In the 10 months since BD I have heard neither of those phrases from W, so I don't really know what to tell you, LOL! I would have loved to hear those months ago and would have immediately responded in kind. Now? I don't know how I'd respond. I would be shocked to hear them, I know that much.

I was just looking to see if there was a general rule on this, and it appears not. I'll look through the piecing forum.

Thanks!