D14 is furious she has to go to counselling. D10 will be too when she is to,d tonight. It is mandated by the court, though xW and I agree it is the right thing. Only thing we agree upon mind you. Went to an information session tonight also mandated by law to attend RE; court process. It will be a looooong and expensive process. Let alone the emotional taxation.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Both girls PO'd about going to counselling next week. D14 says she does now need it and D10 says she is not going. Well, the car pooling to it should work as xW is okay with taking d10 to it and me d14. D10 says she will help me find a place. Not happy though. I am getting the "I hate it!" on everything looked at so far. Gotta make it fun for her and use her imagination for colours and decorating ideas. xW goes away tomorrow for 4 days. Maybe some packing and taxes can get done. Get the rest of her stuff out of the bedroom. Fun with kids in the mix.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
So I get a letter from her L to state that W will not change ownership of her car from joint unless I pay for the vehicle. $37k on the balance of the loan. Also is asking for $10k loan from me so she can put deposit on new home. My L laughed. $47k in total to front her???? Also states that they want instead of court for custody to do binding arbitration hearing with their recommended arbitrator who is a known women's rights crusader. This would include me, xW and arbitrator in a room for a day or two with no counsel present. Ummmmm....no. Our reply is 'no' to all and for her to secure her own financing, change ownership fof the car or sell it....that is the law. If she gets into accident or hurts someone with the vehicle and is sued, then I am liable too. No way but nice try. Learning to protect myself and my rights. She certainly is not thinking of the kids but rather herself as has been the case for a loooong time.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Floyd. Hang in there and remember, I think, the ones who have been here before have said it will get worse before it gets better.
Come here to vent, keep your calm and cool ALWAYS, with W, walk away if you have to.
Of course D14 will hate everything...she is 14 lmao! But I understand. Stay the course and I asked my kids if they wanted to talk to someone. My almost 14 D did once and said she would rather talk it out with friends lol! Of course, I would have liked her to see a professional, but she seems okay. Your Ds may find that talking to someone is not as bad as they think. As a kid, you think all grown ups are on the same side...not yours. It may be nice for them to find out it is not the case!
Now she wants to use a Family Law Act to battle for custody. This will entail the kids going through months of interviews with therapists, lawyers and counsellers to determine custody/access. The process costs $40k as well. Putting the kids through hell instead of looking at herself in the mirror. Holy cow!...how selfish! What is wrong with her? Honestly, she can't win this. Everyone is dumbfounded. She just came back from 4 days away. She has been away 7 times in the last year. I came home tonight all happy and the kids were happy to see me and said to my d14 to get ready for ball practice and I will take her as we planned. xW then freaked on me in front of the kids and screamed that she would take her and demanded me to stay home with d10. D10 was then upset as she had not seen her mother in days and ignored before that. She then demanded d14 to get in the car and whisked away. Then she sent a nasty email to the RE Agent telling her we did not have enough notice for the home inspection tomorrow to close the deal. We were given 10 days notice for crying out loud. What does she mean short notice? The Agent has done a great job and been so pleasant and patient. She did not deserve that. None of us did. Bizarro world and kids are witness to it. So sad.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Document everything and present them to legal counsel. Sorry to hear you're going through all this drama. Protect your children first and foremost. Go for full custody if you can.
Crazy is as crazy does.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
No kidding. It is nuts. My L is upping the game. Things are logged. She has proven her abusive nature. She has no case. My L thinks that is why she is even more bitter now. Just gonna cost her, me and the kids future funds. She refuses psych help.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Because she doesn't see herself as "crazy". Just concentrate on protecting your kids and try not to worry about her actions. Protect them and you first.
In these situations, it's like you're in a storm basement with the kids while the twister of your W's MLC is destroying everything outside. You shield yourself from it and protect your kids from it, then come out when the storm has passed.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Nastier by the day RLA. Hope you are well. Save your marriage....this is not worth it. Today was kids first day of therapy. D10 refused to go so xW freaked on me and said for me to deal with it. i tried to explain that d10 feels abandoned but she stormed out and and sped off, but not before reminding me that she dumped me with "I didn't leave the kids, I left you!". Oddly enough it did not hurt me. Within 2 minutes I had her ready to go and took both kids and met xW there. They were in for an hour. When they came out, I think the counsellor noticed both kids came to me and d10 sat on my lap and hugged me. Then in front of the kids xW snapped at the counsellor about the fee structure. Very embarrassing....we had already agreed to it. Longer tale so in short I suggested we go to another room to talk about it. We worked that out. Then xW complained about the information we needed to provide on the consent form citing privacy. Ummmmmm.....we're going to court.....there will be a lot more open there. It was surreal. She is a stressed out mess. What a day. too much to type honestly. i am beat. I am strressed. Looking for new home. The one I wanted was sold yesterday. The hunt continues.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
